Ethiopian Food

We had our first experience with Ethiopian food today! We met a couple of families in Portland at an Ethiopian restaurant called Dalos Kitchen. Both families are very close to traveling - they both have referrals and are waiting for court dates. It seems like that's the most difficult part - they have pictures and information but they can't see their children!

We really enjoyed meeting them and finding out about their adoption journeys, and we loved the food! It was the first time I had ever eaten a whole meal without utensils but it was a lot of fun. Ethiopians make a sort of sour crepe-type bread that they eat with everything. They use it to scoop up the food like a spoon and it's a really important part of the meal and the experience. I think injera (the bread) is somewhat of an acquired taste - it's not bad but I didn't love the texture. Apparently it grows on you and you eventually crave it, if you tend to eat it a lot. Anyway, we had Chicken Tibbs, which is in a mild curry sauce and some lentils and vegetables, which were really tasty. I'm looking forward to trying more dishes and maybe learning to make my own!

Nothing new on the adoption process front - we are waiting for doctors visits and birth certificates before we can send stuff in. Stefan is getting more excited and we're both wanting things to move a little faster.

Here are a few facts about Ethiopia that make us even more anxious to find our child!

• One in ten children die before their first birthday
• One in six children die before their fifth birthday
• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old
• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition
• The median age in Ethiopia is 17.8 years
• 720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia.
• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any other African country
• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school.
• 88% will never attend secondary school.

Go Chargers!

For those of you who don't know, the Chargers beat the Colts today in a game that no one in sports broadcasting predicted they would win - in fact they were 8 point underdogs! I am so happy!!!

No news on the home study front - we're plugging along on our questions and still waiting for copies of birth certificates and stuff. Stefan is leveling the floor upstairs and framing. Hopefully the new window will be in next week and they can work on the electrical.

Bridget is definitely her mother's daughter - she loves tea! In fact, when she sees something that she wants she just says "tea! tea! tea!" over and over until she gets it. It works well if she actually just wants a drink of my tea, but when it means "that cookie in the cupboard up there" it can be a little frustrating (on both of our parts). Especially since she can say "cookie" perfectly.

Aidan has taken it upon himself to tell people about our adoption and it's always entertaining to see what he says. He informed some people in Chapters that we were all going to fly to Ethiopia to fill out a bunch of papers and then when we came home we would get a baby. He later told Cynthia (Chapters employee) that Ethiopia was in California and then when I corrected him and said that Ethiopia was a country and that it was on a continent called Africa he confidently said, "oh I'm so silly! California is a state so it's in the country of Ethiopia!" He tells people that he thinks his new brother will really like him and if he doesn't, Aidan will just tickle him until he laughs!

It's so amazing to watch children respond to an idea like poverty or sickness. We were reading a book about Ethiopia the other night and though it was mostly about the history and landscape and culture, on the last page there was a picture of a starving baby and it's mother. Aidan physically pulled back and said, "what is wrong with that baby?" I told him that in Ethiopia many people didn't have enough food and that was one of the reasons there were so many children who needed homes. He got very quiet and when I looked over at him he had tears rolling down his cheeks. He asked, "why don't we just all give them our food?" Why indeed? Since then he has taken to setting up a "shop" by pulling couch cushions together to make a counter and apparently his "shop" hands out food to people who need it. Unfortunately, these needy people are probably not going to get any vegetables.

The Homestudy Begins

We got our homestudy packet in the mail yesterday and I started looking through it right away. Those who know me may recall how excited I get about a big stack of paperwork! There's seriously something beautiful about it, just like a nice pen or a fresh notebook. Stefan says it's sick and wrong and deep down I know he's right.

Anyway, I was anxious to get started on it and it looks like it's going to take a while! There are 16 pages of essay questions for EACH of us! These range from questions on our childhood and our parents to stuff about our marriage and our philosophies on parenting. Then there are questions about our house, neighborhood, school district, town, extended families, doctors, etc. Pretty much everything that could ever affect our kids is covered! We also have to get medical exams, financial statements, criminal records checks, employment verification, certified copies of birth certificates and marriage certificates, maps to our house, make a will, and fill out an I600A, which is an advance petition to adopt. Yikes!

I should be busy over the next few weeks getting all of that filled out, tracked down, and appointments scheduled. It is nice to be physically doing something to move the process along though - I think it will be much harder when I've done everything and we just have to wait for a referral. I can't even imagine how difficult it will be once we have a referral and we still have to wait, not knowing what is happening to our child. So at this point I'm trying to enjoy the process and I really feel like all of these questions and efforts that are put into making sure we will be good parents shows how much Ethiopia, along with our agency, cares about their children and wants to make sure they are placed in good homes.

The Adoption Process

A few people have asked me about the timeline for our adoption and the truthful answer is that it varies. It all depends on how quickly you can complete the paperwork, how quickly the government agencies get you the documents you need, how long it takes for the US government to approve you, how long a waiting list your agency has for referrals, and how long it takes for your case to get through court. Basically, it goes like this:

1) You apply to an agency and get approved (we've done this)

2) You complete a "home study" which involves answering lots of questions, collecting vital records, getting medical exams and financial reports, etc and submitting them to your social worker, who works for the agency (we're just starting this).

3) You get all of this approved and then sent in to the state by filing an I600A, which is a petition to adopt. They approve this by looking at your homestudy, running your fingerprints, and making sure you are qualified - and by you paying them a fee :)

4) You prepare a dossier for the Ethiopian government which also has vital records and financial information, immigration records, background checks, and statements about why you want to adopt and how you will retain a sense of your child's heritage for them.

5) Once you are approved you wait for a referral. This usually takes several months, sometimes over a year, until a child comes along to the agency that is the age/gender that you requested, and that you are next in line for. Supposedly the wait in Ethiopia is not as long as in countries that have older or more popular programs, but it really just depends.

6) Once you have accepted a referral, you get a court date in Ethiopia. Your agency appears as a representative for you and the Ethiopian government determines (hopefully) that the child is eligible for adoption and that you are qualified to be parents. This can take a few tries and the courts shut down for a couple of months in the fall so there are often delays in this step.

7) Once you have passed in court, you can travel in the next few weeks to pick up your child! While you are there you have a court date for a visa and to finalize everything so the trip is usually 5-7 days. This is a great opportunity to see your child's country and learn as much as possible about the culture, and maybe his birth family.

This whole process has taken as little as 6 months and as long as 2+ years, just depending on the circumstances. We're hoping that it will take about a year because that would make Bridgey about 2 1/2 and that would be a good gap in the kid's ages. It's okay with us if it takes longer though so in that sense we are lucky because we aren't trying to rush it, which gets frustrating according to many I've talked to. I'm honestly more concerned about things going too fast but I've decided that I really feel like God wants us to be doing this right now and I'm just going to go with it and trust that the timing will be right. We really do need that upstairs bedroom to be done though . . .

Remodel pics

Here are some pictures of the upstairs as it is right now. Stefan has (obviously) knocked out all the drywall and flooring and is ready to put in insulation and work on electrical.

Christmas at the Czarnecki's and Rogers'

Christmas was great this year - we had Courtney with us and snow on Christmas day! We did our usual running around between families with Christmas Eve service with the Rogers and dinner and presents at the Czarneckis. Christmas morning presents at home and then driving to the airport to get Courtney, back to the Rogers for presents and then the Czarneckis for dinner. We did "Christmas dinner" on Boxing Day at the Rogers with Susan and Al which was kind of nice because it spread things out a bit. Aidan is still recovering and I've decided that there should be a Berenstein Bears book about "Too Much Christmas" (maybe there is). It was a great time but we missed Sonja, Eric, Evan and Sage who spent the holiday in Kansas with Eric's family. I suppose we have to share them some of the time!

Courtney's Trip Home

Court was home for Christmas this year and it was a close call - she almost didn't get time off work and ended up flying home Christmas morning, so we all went to pick her up at the airport. I didn't realize how worried I was about her getting here until we saw her and I realized I was crying! I'm sure everyone who knows my family is shocked that we were emotional about something but it was the holidays after all . . .