Superlative anyone?

This was Aidan's monologue when I accidentally mentioned the word "summer" as I was putting him to bed tonight.

"In the summer I'll NEVER have to go to school Mommy (because the 5 hours per week he's in school right now is "exhausting" according to him). And I can play with Lisby and Conner EVERY day because they will NEVER have to go to school. And Conner will NEVER have track and he will ALWAYS be playfullish (new word). And he will NEVER have to take a shower. . . NEVER EVER . . . EVER."

Just a note of explanation: Aidan's biggest frustration is that his aunt and uncle don't have time to play with him every day because "they're too tired from school" or "they have too much homework". To be fair, they play with him an awful lot, but not as much has he would hope (which would clearly be every day). Conner is running track, so not only is he in school all day but then he has practice, and if we happen to be around when he gets home, he has to shower. It's torturous, obviously. I hope Conner and Lisby are ready for summer, because one little boy is counting on them for constant entertainment :)

Homestudy Done!

We had our final homestudy visit today! We had completed about half of the interview about a week and a half ago, and this was the second part, which involved the social worker coming to our house.

It was a little intimidating having her come to the house for the purpose of evaluating it and us, to make sure we were suitable for a baby. She checked out the yard (the backyard right now has a huge pile of debris from the remodel!) and said that we need to get the fence finished in the back but other than that it was fine. The house was fine, even with the remodel halfway done, and she just asked us to put latches on all the cupboards in the kitchen, even though we have a baby gate that we use right now to keep Bridget out.

We also finished up the interview, which took most of the time, and she talked to Aidan about his feelings toward the adoption. She ended up being here for over 2 1/2 hours! It was a great experience though, and she was really positive about everything and gave us some good advice and resources.

As you can tell, Bridget was really enthralled with the whole process. Actually, she wouldn't stop talking and we had to put on a movie so we could do the interview without interruptions, and then this happened:


We're really glad to be done with that part of the process, and we're ready to move on! The next step is for her to write everything up and get it checked by us for accuracy, and then finalized and notarized and sent to us. We can then take that and file our I-600A at the USCIS (immigration) office in Yakima, where we will also get fingerprinted. The government then processes that and gives us our approval to adopt an orphan, and then we will be able to submit our dossier and get on the referral list!

Ben

I don't want to write this, as if by writing it I am disrespecting Ben's life; reducing it to words. At the same time, I feel like I must say something because he meant so much to us and people need to know that. So here it is:

Ben Hawkins, a great friend of ours and our employee for 3 years at Chapters was killed in an accident on Sunday night. We have had really strange weather this last week and on Sunday night there was a hailstorm that left ice on the road in some areas but not others. Ben and his wife Rachel were driving along Bell Road and hit a patch of ice and slid into the ditch. They weren't hurt, but got out to inspect the damage. Another friend of Stefan's and mine from high school (and an amazing and wonderful guy who was also friends with Ben and Rachel) was driving the same way with his wife and they came around the curve and hit the same patch of ice and slid into Ben as he was standing by the road. They did CPR but Ben was pronounced dead at the scene when the paramedics got there.

Those are the facts that I've repeated countless times over the last two days, and I've become almost numb to them, but it is so much bigger than that. Ben was so important to us . . . he was really like a brother to me while he worked at Chapters, driving me crazy and making me laugh at the same time. Aidan loved him and asks me where Ben is (not just these past couple of days, but ever since he switched jobs and hasn't been around as much). I know it's a cliche but it does feel like a dream. Just the other day we were talking about his upcoming interview and he spilled the drink Cynthia had made for him all over himself . . . in his interview clothes! It was such a Ben thing to do and we were laughing and feeling bad and trying to help him all at the same time. Aidan ran and got the mop and the wet floor sign (he loves to use it) and we cleaned it up and he went home to change . . . and he got the job! He called us to let us know that it must have been good luck spilling that drink, so we should stop feeling bad. When I think him, I think about that, and I can't reconcile it with the idea that he's gone.

This has completely shaken our world, especially the Chapters community. Ben was the face of Chapters to many, and the fact that he lived life so fully makes it that much harder to imagine life without him. Ben was that guy who did everything over the top (in a good way). He filled up the straw dispensers until you could barely yank out a straw because they were so full. He stacked cups so high at the bar that you couldn't see over them. He would overfill your drink just so you would get your money's worth. He would remember your name and your drink every time. He wanted to make sure that everything he did was done to the best of his abilities and he succeeded. I know that people remember him that way and I just hope that Rachel and his family can see how many people he touched and that he will never be forgotten.

Nick (our friend who was driving the car that hit Ben) is also in my prayers and thoughts. The whole situation is so awful and tragic, but the fact that they were friends means that he has to grieve Ben's death as well as process the whole incident and I'm not sure how possible that is. I know that Nick has a wonderful family and community support system, and I'm thankful for that but he needs a lot of prayer as well.

I'm sorry for all the sad talk, but this is consuming us right now and it felt wrong to ignore it on the blog, which has most of the important (and many of the mundane) things that happen to us on it.

Ben's service is at 1:00 on Thursday afternoon at George Fox and afterwards I'm sure Chapters will be a gathering place for his friends. I hope it's a place where we can find healing and closure with each other as well as celebrate what Ben meant to all of us.

Bruuuuuuuce!

Stefan and I unexpectedly got tickets to see Bruce Springsteen on Friday! We got a last-minute baby-sitter (thanks Katie!) and had a great night out! Unbelievably, the kids were still awake when we got back at 11:30 . . . no, they have not recovered yet. Bruce was as awesome as ever, and some of the people down in front on the floor were even more entertaining than him! Here are some really, really bad pictures off my phone (cameras weren't allowed) just to prove we were there.

Easter, etc.

We tried to keep things simple and a little more healthy this Easter . . . and failed miserably! We didn't give Aidan too much candy, but of course he got some from Grandma and Grandpa (mostly Grandpa) and Omi and Poppop, plus toys from Uncle Chris and Aunt Mary. Bridget didn't get any candy from us, but did get it from the others . . . and she would like everyone to know that she is definitely a fan! She had never had any before and it basically took about 30 seconds for candy to become her new favorite thing.

This is Easter morning before Bridget discovered candy, when she was happy with the books she had gotten.

Aidan got sunglasses and quickly used them to develop a new superhero . . . as you will see below.

He's a robot and his name is . . . Baghead . . . so clever.

It's not easy bein' a baghead!

Homestudy

Our first homestudy interview is tomorrow! I'm not really sure what to expect - we've already answered 16 pages of questions . . . and she said it would be 2 hours! I know part of it is going over everything that could possibly happen as far as a referral goes, and what we would be comfortable with when it comes to medical conditions, background, etc.

I'm hoping we get a better sense of how many kids they have in care right now, ages, medical issues and more. I'm really anxious for information, not because our child might be there (I doubt he is, considering the age we've requested but it's a possibility) but because there are others from our agency that I am in contact with (via the web) who are eagerly waiting for their referral. It's really exciting to sort of wait with them and learn from their experiences.

I think that the paperwork part of things is probably easier than the waiting so I'm glad we're not rushing through this. By the time we get to the referral stage our agency should have had several families go through the entire process and I'm hoping that means it will go fairly smoothly. At this point some of the families who got referrals in December are still waiting to travel, which is a really long wait when your child is in an orphanage halfway around the world! Normally the wait is more like 3 months from referral to travel.

There are basically two things that can delay travel and they both have to do with court appearances. Once you have a referral you get a court date which is when your agency appears in the Ethiopian courts will all the necessary paperwork so that they can make you the legal parents of that child. Here are the possibilities:
1) You pass! The courts feel that they have all the necessary documentation and that every effort has been made to confirm that this child is indeed an orphan and there are no better options for him/her than adoption. This is where having a good, ethical agency is most important because they need to do everything they can to find living relatives who can sign relinquishment papers to satisfy the courts. If the child was abandoned this is not necessary, but they require that he/she be in care for 3 months before adoption to make sure someone doesn't come back for him/her.
2) The courts ask for more information. This could be paperwork, more effort to find a living relative, more information on the adoptive parents, etc.
3) Court is closed. The courts close in the late summer/early fall, I think for the festival season. If you got a referral just before that you will have to wait until they reopen, and then there is a backlog of cases so it will be a while. That could significantly delay things.

The good thing is that I feel confident in the care that these children are getting through our agency so at least if we have to wait a while to bring him home we won't worry about his treatment.

In closing, I want to ask for prayers for Stefan's grandmother who has been struggling with her health lately. Please pray for her and for Stefan's family as they care for her, especially his mom. Thank you!

Grandpa vs. God

On our way to McMinnville on Tuesday Aidan and I had the following conversation:

Aidan: Mommy, is God really strong?
Me: Yes, God is stronger than anything else.
Aidan: Except Grandpa.
Me: Well, actually he's stronger than Grandpa.
Aidan: Nope, Grandpa's really strong, Mommy.
Me: Yes, I know but God gave Grandpa his strength so God is stronger.
Aidan: How did God do that?
Me: God can do anything.
Aidan: I guess he can make Grandpa stronger, right?
Me (in my head): Crap.
Me out loud: Let's listen to the radio!